Day 13: Ten Crazy Things about Dutch People, Back to Barcelona, & Fighting the Virus

11 januari 2022 - Amsterdam, Nederland

As promised, I will give you a list of ten crazy things about Dutch people. Of course, we also have unfortunate weather, terrible food, and less good relations with our families, but I blame that geographic location. Seems logical right?

Ten crazy things about the Dutch:

1. We love to cycle

2. We give our honest opinion (even if nobody asks for it)

3. We are on a tight schedule

4. We put mayonnaise on everything

5. We eat early

6. We drink late

7. We speak English

8. We love bread with cheese

9. We are stubborn

10. We are everywhere

The angry cleaning lady barged into my room around 9 AM. Not okay. Where’s my sign that says: Watch out, don’t wake sleeping dogs, they bite. I ran towards her and bit her in her arm. She was shocked and I just grunted like a wild dog.

No okay, that’s only something I did as a kid. Really, ask my cousin.

I left the hotel and wondered if I should bring up the 2 euro. Alright, call me greedy, but I wanted my coin back. Swallow that, machine!

For the first time I was 100% prepared for the drive. I opened my water bottle, cookies and lunch before I started driving. It worked, because I didn’t need the break anymore. I was less stressed than the times before, because I got used to driving. It was unfortunate that it was the last drive.

I saw the Pyrenees dooming up in my review mirror and I wished I was going in the other direction. “I’m coming home,” played on the radio, a song that I also sang when I came back from South America.

This is not the time to get emotional. The water in my eyes messed up my eyesight. Goose bumps covered every inch of my body. The corners of my mouth were making wrinkles on my cheeks. I sang along like it was the last song on Earth.

“I’m coming home, I’m coming home. Tell the world I’m coming home. Let the rain wash away all the tears of yesterday.”

I went through six tunnels; each one became a little longer. I was in my summer dress, with the windows rolled down and I felt the freezing air hit me like a cold wave. Shall I close the windows? No, this way I can get used to the temperature in Amsterdam.

When I saw the light at the end of the tunnel I had to think of the time before I went on holiday. The moment I was (almost) convinced I found a job that I really liked, I saw light at the end of the tunnel. The light made me see the darkness around me.

Daylight filled the car and drowned me in photons.

However, only ten minutes later a wall of mist hit me. I couldn’t see trucks only until they were right in front of me. How could warm blue skies turn into thick cold mist? I didn’t have time to think about it, because I needed all my attention to safely drive through the fallen clouds. Here is a video if you like to see it.

I had to fill up my car and did that at a tank station underneath the spaghetti of highways. This time I knew exactly what fuel I needed. I ate my lunch at a parking place next to it and could barely figure out how to get back on the main road, but somehow I succeeded. Not bad, Google Maps.

It got busier and busier the closer I got to Barcelona. I loved it when I recognized the roads that I drove on before, this time I was relaxed in my chair, which was a big contrast.

The final time that I had to go left, a scooter appeared out of nowhere. He drove super fast and had someone on his back. We both hit the brake immediately. He was driving too fast, I was in the left lane, and signalled it on time, so it wasn’t my fault. Still, it scared the shit out of me. Close call.

I saw the Europcar shop and noticed I was driving in the wrong lane. It was a one way street so I had to drive in a circle in order to get on the right street. Please god, don’t let it happen again when I take that turn. It didn’t, my shoulders relaxed.

The biggest relief came when I parked the car and handed back the keys. “Not a scratch!” I said happily. The car guy didn't know how special that was. He checked some stuff on the dashboard, and I was good to go. Goodbye my beautiful beast, I will miss you. I will never forget you, or how to put a car in reverse... haha.

I still had an hour to check out the big church and had a metro ticket, so with my backpack I took the metro. I was the only tourist and it was empty. People always hate it when I take a picture without permission. Still I take it, smile!

I left the metro at the La Sagrada Familia station. It was slightly busier here, but still nothing compared to what you might expect. It was impressive. Not only the size, but also the architecture was more elegant than the others. It was the Mother of Churches.

The crane looked ugly, but the church is not finished. They started building in 1882 and expect to be finished in 2026. It’s been designed by Gaudi who will never see the final result because a tram hit him on the way there. Of course, he also had to become 174 years old, so he never stood a chance.

It was time to get to the airport and I walked to a busy road where I held my thumb up. Now the taxi lane was great. A young guy in a little taxi van was happy to take me. He looked Moroccan and I saw his big brown eyes through the review mirror when we talked.

“Where are you from?”

“Hollanda, los países bajos.”

“Is it nice to live there?”

“Yes and no,” I laughed, “it is hard to find a house and everything is super expensive, but there are lots of jobs and you can earn a lot, so I guess it is okay. Only the weather sucks. I’m saying goodbye to the sun now.”

“You’ve been here for a long time?”

“No only two weeks, but I had more sun than I had in months and the food is amazing, I'm getting fat! Also everything is closed in the Netherlands, you can’t go to a bar or restaurant. Is it nice to live here?”

He nodded. “It is very cheap to rent a place in Barcelona. I love to live here. Only during summer everyone comes to Barcelona for the beach and it is too busy.”

“I can imagine, so I’ve come at the right time.”

“Yes,” he laughed.

We arrived at the airport and I thanked him for the ride. He wished me a good flight and meant it, that was a nice change.

With my backpack on, I entered the airport. The queue at the check-in wasn't that big, so I quickly added to the line, but it was barely moving. Every five minutes you could take one step. How on Earth was that possible? In the Netherlands you can (almost) continue to walk in a queue. Here? Not a chance. The chain was growing and growing and it wasn’t going any quicker.

There was a baby and a dog, that would meet each other multiple times because the queue went like a snake. Every time, the dog started barking because the baby cried, and the baby would cry harder because of the dog, making the dog bark harder. It was a positive feedback mechanism! I had to hide my laugh, the mouth mask was useful.

Of the 12 counters, only three were open. God, I needed to pee. The weight on my shoulders made it worse. With a big sigh, I put my backpack on the floor that was covered in dust, wheel marks, and shoe prints. I will just drag the bag on the floor, I’m not leaving the queue.

Everyone was talking to someone on the phone to kill the time. Even I considered it, but I was tapping with my foot and listening to music. Still, I was able to hear the voice of the guy in front of me. He looked Spanish, with his black thick hair in a short tail and a square face.

I was surprised when he spoke perfect Dutch. It looked like he was talking to himself, but he was talking on the phone through his (almost invisible) earphones. He bounced his weight from his left foot to his right foot wearing pink sneakers.

“O they made it beautiful!” he said, “You enter the elevator, see the floor disappear, and zoom out and look back at the planet. When you go up, the fishes move with you, and separate the moment you walk out. No, it’s about making it great, money has never been an issue. Sure, but I’m in Spain now. The plane is almost leaving, but they don’t seem to be in a hurry."

After his conversation ended his eyes looked my way for a long time, three times in a row.

“Takes ages, right?” he asked when my eyes finally met his.

I also hated the situation, but I would rather ignore it than talk about it, otherwise it would be real. I’m just standing here out of free will, enjoying my music, what queue are you talking about?

“Yeah, but it doesn’t help to worry about it,” I said, “soon we will be in the Netherlands and everything will go quickly again.”

“Still, this sucks.” He continued to move impatiently on his legs. “Look at that lady that just left her station. We’ve been waiting here for an hour, but she’s done with her shift so she just leaves? I can’t believe this.”

I don’t believe a Mediterranean temper exists, otherwise I would have added it to the list. He was on a tight schedule. That’s so Dutch, remember rule number three?

When it was finally my turn the woman asked me for the corona form in order to return to the Netherlands by plane.

“O sorry I completely forgot. Do I have to fill it in now? Quickly?” I asked nervously.

“No do it on the plane,” she said.

The questions are about being healthy enough to enter the plane. If I answer them on the plane, it will be too late.

“Alright,” I said.

I rushed to the plane in order to get there in time. I took one pit stop on the way, because my bladder was popping.

One kilo lighter I continued with my run to the plane.

---->You're halfway through this story, in case you want to read the rest later<----

The plane was packed. I opened the ventilation holes above. A Dutch couple in their 50s sat next to me.

“It’s so hot,” the woman said. She had blond hair and looked friendly. How often did I say friendly? Maybe this world isn’t that bad.

Out of the window the world certainly looked perfect. It looked like summer, except that nobody was swimming.

The staff started to hand out the form on the plane. Most people didn’t do it, because everybody needed my pen. Very corona proof.

The woman next to me laughed when she was handed the form. “Will they throw me out if I have symptoms?”

White teeth that looked like glass appeared in the distance. I put my head inside of the window. O that’s why it’s round. “The Pyrenees!” I screamed excitedly.

“O yeah, nice,” she said less excited than me. There was a second window that she could look through. I wouldn’t have stolen this view from anyone.

“I’m happy I didn’t drive there, it looks extremely difficult. Just imagine how slippery it would be, as if hairpin bends aren’t dangerous enough,” I said, thinking back of Snake road, but then covered in ice.

“You rented a car? Were you in Spain long?” She asked.

“No, I came for New Year and decided to stay a bit longer. I rented a car for a week and just drove around the Costa Brava.”

“On your own?”

“No, I went with a friend, but she went home and I stayed longer.”

“Alright, still that sounds brave,” she said.

“Yeah she had to work and now I’m going home to do the same thing, hopefully.”

“What do you mean?”

“I got a job interview, that day after tomorrow.”

“O really! Where?” Now she sounded as excited as I was about the mountains.

“At an advice agency for the government. They help to guide processes and projects in the physical environment. For example, how to build a big datacentre. I would help the government to get in touch with the residents and try to guide the process towards an outcome that is good for everyone.”

“That sounds like a promising job. I have two sons that are studying and one is almost done. Was it hard to find something?” she asked. Now I understood why she liked the topic. It’s not only a stressful phase for the kid.

“It was ridiculously hard to find something. Corona broke out around the time that I was doing my master thesis. I was lucky to be able to finish it despite the pandemic. But a world in crisis isn’t the best time to start your career.”

She nodded.

“I did most of my job interviews behind the computer. It's difficult to get a job that way, I just wanted to shake their hand and that was the last thing I was allowed to do. Also, I wanted to see if I liked the office and if I felt comfortable there, that’s impossible behind the computer.”

“I can imagine, my sons also had trouble studying and socializing,” she said.

“My study ended and I was living alone, so I was at home on my own. It was easy to isolate.” Tears jumped in my eyes, but not enough to roll out of them. Thank god.

“Yes, I understand. Suddenly it is your own responsibility to meet people. If you don’t reach out to people you will isolate,” she said trying to comfort me.

“I tried a dating app but it’s not the same as meeting people in real life.”

“No? So you are single?” she asked with a whining voice. Almost as if she hated it more than me.

“Yes, I am,” I said with a sigh.

She was looking at the young guys in the chairs behind us and back at me. O my god, those are the sons she talked about. Too young for me, but good try, wing mother.

When we arrived at Schiphol she wished me luck with the start of my job.

“Thank you,” I said and I wanted to wish her luck with something, but noticed that I didn’t know anything about her. So stupid that I forgot to ask her anything. “Get home safely,” I said. Phew, at least I could come up with something.

When we entered Schiphol, they didn’t ask for the corona form. So now it definitely felt useless. This is how the corona virus spreads through the world. The corona regulations on planes are one big joke, but I wasn’t laughing. Not even underneath my mouth mask.

I met the woman again in the toilet and she wished me luck at my job and we said goodbye again. I rushed to get my bag, because I didn’t want to run into her again. Saying goodbye three times would be too awkward! Haha.

After a short ride with the train, I had to get on the metro.

“Ola! Ehm, hoi!” I said when I bought a sandwich at a shop at the metro station. I had my backpack on, so the girl behind the counter understood why I made the mistake. As soon as I saw the price of the sandwich, I knew that I was back in the Netherlands. Welcome home.

I almost fell asleep in the metro back. It was such a long day. Driving a car, walking with my backpack, taking the metro, taking a taxi, waiting at the airport, sitting on the plane, picking up my bag, taking a train, and now in the metro again.

I stood in front of my house. Finally! Jezus.

I forgot my tiredness for a moment when my cats greeted me. They probably thought that I had died, because they were overly excited. I lied down on the bed so that they could climb on me and give me a good hug. Their bellies were shaking like tiny boat engines. Okay, now it was welcome home!

It was only 9 PM, but I fell asleep as a rock. A volcanic rock.

I woke up with a scratchy throat. I didn’t think much of it and had a cup of coffee with my neighbour in the garden. He was complaining how cold it was and I was calling him a pussy. I was the one who just got back from Spain, not him!

“Didn’t you get corona on the plane?” he asked.

“No,” I said, but he got me thinking.

I bought a test the same day and it turned out to be negative.

The day after my eyes burned out of my sockets and an unbearable headache kept me in bed. With fear I saw the second stripe appear on the test, very slowly and vaguely, as if it still wanted to hide. I should have known that ending with 13 stories would give me bad luck.

I was vaccinated in summer and wanted my booster before Spain but that wasn’t possible yet. Now it was too late, but hopefully I wasn’t contagious on the plane (because of the negative test).

For some reason I was relieved. I didn’t feel powerless against the virus anymore, because it was close enough to fight it. I carried it home. The devil that ruined my life for two years. What are the odds.

I had two rough nights where I didn’t know what to do with myself, I just felt pain, everywhere. Painkillers saved me, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to drink, eat, or sleep. The fever was demanding all my energy. I was mostly watching Below Deck and... LORD OF THE RINGS!! In English this time :)

Still I managed to cycle to the test location at the other side of town. I was light headed, because I had too little oxygen in my brain. I was hiiiigh like a kite!

“Was it worth it?” Joe asked on Whatsapp.

“Yes, it was definitely worth it,” I said, with a high fever and scratching my irritated skin. Did you forget about the hives? I didn’t.

“How is your new house in Madrid?” I asked.

“Great, I’ve been going out, drinking at bars," he said.

“Haha, it sounds like you're feeling home already,” I said.

I ate the frozen food from my freezer. The grapes look more delicious than they tasted.

I was inside of the house for 12 days, so I needed to get out for a walk. I found a bucket that I wanted to carry on my head to warn people that I had corona. You can decide yourself if I did that or not, haha.

I took it home as a reminder that I didn't kick the bucket. Today (the 1st of february) I'm feeling much better, and despite hives and a soft cough, I'm back to my normal (crazy) self.